Yesterday on facebook I posted:
"this afternoon I walked through a gate near my place, and a guy with a bike asked me to hold it open for him. I had to apologise and explain that I was ill & the gate was really heavy & I couldn't hold it open for him. HE said sorry to me. I walked away, feeling guilty for not helping him. How silly is that?"
A kind friend posted a comment, suggesting that if I said that I was ill then I would create that I was ill, and in fact thinking as if I wasn't ill might help me a lot more.
This is my response:
I have experienced symptoms of my illness for over a decade, and have been told on numerous occasions by the medical profession that there was nothing wrong with me, because none of the
usual physical indicators were present when they did their tests. I went about my life as normal, not allowing the pain & weakness prevent me from doing anything I wanted to do. The
result was that I made myself even more ill. I thought and behaved as if my body was fully healthy.
Today I choose to accept reality as it is. My body is weak, and I need to take responsibility and behave in ways that takes care of it. The reality of my illness is that my mitochondria in my cells are unable to release energy the way they did, (I was eventually diagnosed by the doctors a year ago) so making a decision not to stand and hold open a heavy gate, which would result in my experiencing pain and discomfort in my body is a healthy choice.
So, for over a decade I chose to focus on the positive, of what I COULD do, and I pushed my body way beyond what it could do. And this has resulted in my getting progressively more and more ill.
Today, I chose to see reality as it is, and take positive action towards creating the reality that I want.
For example, I choose not to give my body extra stress that it doesn't need. I bring awareness to negative emotions such as feeling guilty for taking care of myself, so that I can release them, as they no longer serve me. EFT (Tapping) is a useful technique I've found for letting go of them, as and when they come up.
I also am extremely careful about what I eat, taking appropriate supplements, I don't eat foods that do not serve my body; instead I choose to eat foods that create health.
Being in a fuzzy state about my illness up until a few months ago, where I believed I would get well, I believed that if I just focused my mind I'd be able to do what I wanted to do, did not produce positive results.
The reality is that although I still believe I will heal, I have to deal with the reality first. Right now, I need to behave in a gentle way when expecting my body to perform tasks for me. And choosing not to do certain things, is a very healthy, loving and compassionate way to treat myself, of which I am very proud.
So, when given a choice- positive thinking, or choosing behaviour that is loving and kind & supportive to my body, encouraging it to recreate health, I chose the latter, any
Do I believe I'm going to be able to hike up mountains again? Absolutely, can I do it today? No. Would saying that I can be helpful to me? It wouldn't be true, and if I were to hike up a mountain it would expend the energy that I do have on getting up the mountain, and I'd prefer it to be spend on repairing the cells in my body, so that they're restored to health and able to perform the way they used to perform. First things first, once my cells are healthy, then I'll climb the mountain. Until then, I'm quite happy being honest about the reality of what I'm not able to do, and focus on what I can do: being honest about the limitations of my body, and encouraging health in my cells.
So which produces better results? Thinking that I am well and healthy? Or being honest that I’m not and taking appropriate action to create health?